My mom was horrified:
her daughters walked through the village in their nighties!
Admittedly, her daughters (my sister and me) were only 4 or 5.
She had brought the nighties from the city just the day before, they had long sleeves, with wrist ruffles, and looked so cool, that it was a shame not to show them off.
It was only after that incident that I realized that you weren’t supposed to walk around in a nightie in public.
Someone saw us, and told my mom, and she made such a fuss of it! I was not embarrassed then, and don’t feel embarrassed now - it’s just a funny memory.
I’m pretty sure it was funny for those onlookers, too. Most people probably didn’t notice, or didn’t care. It’s just my mom who felt embarrassed. A year later, no one in my village remembered that incident. Now it’s just a funny story, even for my mom.
This story reminds me of the embarrassment English learners often feel. They are embarrassed about making mistakes and forgetting words, about their imperfect English.
I think what makes it embarrassing is comparing yourself:
“I should know this, but I don’t”
“I should speak perfectly, but I can’t”
“Everyone is better than me”
“My fiend learned English faster”.
It’s always worse in your head than in reality.
Most people don’t care if you’re making mistakes - as long as they can easily understand you. People are OK waiting for you to remember a word - or they try to help you with suggestions.
Stop comparing yourself to some ideal standards, or to other people.
Be kind to yourself. And maybe some day, if you keep learning, you will be kinder to someone who is similarly embarrassed about being imperfect.
Have a great day,
Tania.
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👍 Worth it!
😐 Meh - was ok.
👎 Not interesting to me.